“You're wheatish, so this colour might make you look dull for the day,” said her aunt. “This colour doesn’t suit you,” said her other aunt. “Look for something bright Reeth, these colours don't look good on you,” said her mom. Reeth was wearing a peacock green. She had recently found her new love in dark colours like navy blue, black, maroon, peacock green, grey etc.
Are you familiar with such conversations? Have you encountered people (family, relatives, friends, outside world) talking about the colours that suit you, that suit your "face complexion"? If you're fair, then by default dark colours suit you. If you're dark, then light colours. And, if you're between the extremes you would have a wide range of colours to be commented upon.
Why do we wear clothes in the first place? To impress others or to feel confident and beautiful about ourselves?
Why are we supposed to buy something that should make us look bright or fairer but not HAPPY?
Do these suggestions/comments come from the generic societal colour norms cultivated over the period or are these genuine suggestions/comments by our loved ones who truly care about us?
Are these comments/suggestions to help us make better choices or to simply taunt our colour complexion?
What matters is INTENTION.
Some people want you to look bright for the occasion, some people have such colour coding fixed in their head because they were taught that way, and some may be just wanting to taunt you. Intention matters because good intentions hurt less, but they still hurt.
Whichever category they fall into, those words still hurt (lowers self-esteem, confidence and self-worth) as it’s our personal choice and not theirs, it’s about the way we feel and not about how they want to perceive us,
I have made a way to deal with these situations politely every time I encounter such comments from people, I’d respond to them saying,
- Hey, I appreciate your suggestion, but I love deciding that for myself.
- Hey, thank you so much for your suggestion but I like that colour. I enjoy wearing it.
Be polite when asked for suggestions; align your intention and words to say what your intent,
- Hey, this “dress” looks a little dull. Why don’t you try some fresh/radiant dresses?
- Hey, this dress is too bright, try for something else, a little more subtle shade.
Try NOT to use words such as “Colour”, “face”, “complexion”, “Suit”, etc.
Did you know that colours have psychological effects too? According to the study of scientists at the University of Columbia on the influence of colour, they found that darker shades of blue have a calming effect, and blue shades of clothing are often chosen by kind, sympathetic and courteous people.
Colours are much more than appearance,
- What we chose is not just for appearance, but a lot more is associated with psychology, which we aren’t aware of like we are liking a certain colour and the feel of a few colours when we wear them.
Don’t step back on the colours you like, don’t put down your happiness for somebody else’s, be courageous enough to make your choices and STAND by your choices, because at the end of the day it’s only about YOU.
Author: Ritika D'souza | Publisher: Kosha Life
My life, my choice..Meri marji is the most confident norm