May 13, 2021

LOVE is so Mradul (soft)! (2 Min Read)

LOVE can act as SUI-DHAAGA!!

You all know me I always keep telling you I have been a chubby little elephant since childhood, but I was not so positive about it initially. In fact, my weight has been one of the biggest issues in my life, one of the most shameful truths of my life.

I was mocked about it in school all the time, every year they would check our weight in the school and all the students used to stand in a long line waiting for their turn to weigh themselves and teachers would note it down, I was always the heaviest one in my class. I would stand there in the line with a huge amount of panic running inside my head regarding the discussion that I had to go through the post the session and I had to tell them my false weight because of the fear of being laughed upon, every year I used to hate this day.

Just like the above example, I was body shamed millions of times in school during my sports performance and many more. It drowned my confidence when my classmates joked about my weight.

The same happened at home, I was the heaviest kid in the house, I don’t know why but every summer vacation my uncle used to crack jokes on me for being so fat! Yes, FAT was the word they would address me with and call out many funny nicknames for me just to remind me of how FAT I was!
People told me how I lacked beauty, how I was much behind in the race from other girls of my age because of my heavy, overweight! I was BODY-SHAMMED!
Every relative would give me pieces of advice for losing weight, dieting, exercising, sacrificing sweets & ice-creams.
I felt the most devastated when one of my own aunts shattered my confidence by publicly announcing in a family gathering that I was good for nothing, I was so fat no one would ever want to marry me, I will be rejected by everyone because of my weight, killing every single bit of my self-esteem! Her justification of this act was that she wanted to use reverse-psychology on me for my welfare, PHEW!
I started thinking the lowest about myself, I started validating myself in fact I started hating myself. I felt unloved!

Then is when LOVE walked into my life…..

Picked up every tiny scattered part of me from the floor, gathered my hands, and literally slowly and gradually sew my TORN HEART being my SUI-DHAAGA.
Love came to me as medicine to my caught-up mental health issues, to my constant defamed self-esteem, to my lost confidence, to my lost power of dreaming about LOVE!
I had accepted the facts taught to me by the society that a fat girl could never find love, a fat girl is good for nothing, a fat girl can’t be married. It happened because all the zones where I could possibly live like the school, friends, even family fed into my subconscious mind that I was overweight and that was my biggest failure. So can you imagine how deeply a person can be affected by constant BODY SHAMING!

But as our Founder Anirudh, talks about LOVE the ultimate healing power!
I found LOVE is SUI-DHAAGA!!

I found LOVE can come and pick you up from the shallowest of your being. Love came to me when I was at the heaviest of my weight in this life. Love came to me fore-fronted and taught me that I was beautiful, I was charming, I was not just weighing number but much more than that, I was a loving caring jolly person, with lots of love inside my heart!
Love brought my confidence back, Love grew my self-esteem again, Love told me that I deserved to be LOVED!
So my dear readers,
Trust me, LOVE is a medicine!
“LOVE is so Mradul!”
LOVE can act as SUI-DHAAGA,
LOVE can sew the bleeding TORN pieces of your HEART!

I am blessed to have found love in the form of my life partner, but you don’t need to restrict yourself to that. You can find love anywhere and everywhere you seek it. Love can come to you in the form of a parent/ a mentor/ a guide/ a friend/ a pet/ a plant/ a passion/a skill or any other relation that exists even mother nature……all you need to do is keep on searching, keep on asking the Universe to send you your form of LOVE, your SUI-DHAAGA!