When not to be tough

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There is a Bollywood movie called 'Dear Zindagi' and part of it films the journey of a young lady in therapy with a Psychologist. The therapist tells her a story about a person who wanted to climb Mount Everest directly. Mt. Everest being considered a tough climb needs tremendous caution and knowledge, yet the person didn't bother to prepare or pace himself. The person ignored the suggestions for safety and went ahead with great speed, and unfortunately met with death. The moral of the story was: Sometimes we choose the tough path because we assume that to earn important things we must choose the difficult path but eventually it can hurt us.

The client had not overcome her sad emotions from the past hurtful relationship. Forcing herself to face her ex-partner for a great work opportunity was stressful and unnecessary. She could decline and find another work project. Over time after she is stronger and heals a bit more, she can then confront the partner.

She realises that it is okay to choose an easier path especially since she is at a vulnerable stage. It felt odd to her but it came with a sigh of relief. A sigh of relief knowing that it was okay to not act tough always. She could permit herself to choose what is easy right now and as she gains strength she can go on to bigger confrontations in life.

Please note: 'Permit herself'.

At sensitive junctures, we may need to 'allow our self' to take a less stressful route. In life, we can end up putting weird, unasked for, tough expectations on ourselves which invite stress. We may unknowingly make our life difficult or punishing.

If you may wonder, 'people who don't struggle, hustle or push themselves are less successful and are weak.' No, That is not the point of discussion. The point is, to know when to hustle and when not to hustle. What is healthy hustle and what is unhealthy hustle?

The answer will come when you ask:

  • Is this hustle/speed/plan self-imposed by comparing to someone else or some indefinite ideas or Is this demanded by external situations
  • Is it causing stress
  • Is it urgently necessary or can be postponed or paced

In my humble opinion, It's better not to be tough when something is new and overwhelming. If at all we are going through a breakdown, it is all the more important not to rush or force our mind to ignore the pain and run towards the hustle for happiness/success instead.

What is wrong with the easy path?

Especially when we are not ready to face the difficult path?

Whatever success we are after is for our fulfilment then the preceding steps can be made fulfilling too, right?

Author: Devanshi Gala | Publisher: Kosha Life

 

 

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"Unshakeable health comes first from taking responsibility for your happiness & peace. Everything else is secondary"

Anirudh Gomber